Wednesday, November 2, 2011

BIG HAIRY DEAL

Seeking humor, watch a Sasquatch Search show on cable tv. It is hilariously stupid. The idiots do everything to scare away the creatures. One bunch of fools played rock and roll music and sang. If I were a Bigfoot, I’d just run away.

The searchers wear lights, constantly talk, and probably have a crew of people swarming around. The electrical equipment makes a high-pitched whining sound that most humans ignore but probably scare animals. The homo sapiens are probably silly enough to wear perfume and bug spray, too. Don’t they realize that smart forest dwellers can see and smell foolish humans? It would make more sense to set up motion detectors with cameras and walk away.

Sasquatch, Bigfoot, Yeti, Abominable Snowman, Swamp Ape, or however you refer to the primates, they are another branch of the family tree. Yes, I believe that several species of primates still need to be documented. Valid researchers have found hair and fecal samples, which cannot be identified as a known species. Nature can consume a dead mammal within a few days so we may never find a skeleton.

I have a friend in northern Minnesota who has seen a Forest Brother (the local nickname). She said that it was about six feet tall and traveled in a small family group. One time her brother got too close and the adults threw stones and sticks at him. He backed away and they calmed down. The locals would never admit to the Forest Brother because they don’t want a bunch of idiots to plod around and disturb the animals.

A Forest Brother was brought to the Minneapolis Veteran's Administration Hospital in the early 1970s. I know someone who got lost and ended up in the VA Medical Center's basement. He heard a loud sound from a locked room. He asked a janitor what was going on and got a quick glimpse of a hairy creature which refused to wear clothes, speak, or use furniture. I’m certain that a record of the animal is somewhere and perhaps other employees have information about the purported Bigfoot. My friend said that the closest to the sound he heard is actually the groan on the opening credits of the sasquatch search show, at least the producers got that right.

Get Harry.
© 2011 Ima B. Musing