DEAD TIRED

Weary. I am so sick and tired of seeking employment. I apply for jobs and attend networking events but with no positive result. I have sent out over 500 applications and been on over 20 interviews. A friend of mine told me to stop counting but I have a rough estimate of the mounting rejections. Woe is me.

I wish that there were a method to scan me in, just once. It would obtain all my skills and work preferences and then automatically match me with openings. I would then scan the openings and indicate which ones I that intrigue me. I wouldn’t have to spend hours and hours and hours looking for opportunities and hoping for a match. Filling out the same information on different forms, it is so bloody tedious. Perhaps Linked In could create this feature. I’d love it.

It makes me ask what is wrong with me? I have education and experience. I can do a lot. I can learn new skills. Yes, I am a flawed human. I just feel a bit desperate because I fear financial catastrophe. I’m gonna give up the search. I will acquiesce to temp jobs after ardently seeking employment since July 2010. I removed my Master degree from my resume since apparently it intimidates supervisors. Sad, but true.

I hate temporary work. The pay is bad, no benefits, awful training (if any), and you get treated like crap by the temp agency and the employer. I have never had a good experience while temping. One time I got to an office and another temp worker showed up, the agency had double booked us. Because he had been with the agency longer, he got the job. I was totally pissed and never worked for the agency again. There is no guarantee that any temp agency will place you in a position so you have to sign up with several and hope.

My anxiety has increased and I have had touches of depression. A very dangerous combination. My self-esteem has suffered from the myriad rebuffs. I feel fearful about the future. My optimism is drowning in doubt. Thankfully, it is springtime and I can putter in the yard. Growing my garden always makes me feel better and provides a physical outlet for the stress. Plus, I can eat the results. I feel rather guilty when going to the food-shelf. I’d much rather donate than receive.

Please hire me.
© 2012 Ima B. Musing
PS Monetary gifts can be directed to www.gofundme.com/i4ix0 account. Thanks!