DANGER ZONE

Fifty months of toil, over four years of strife, I have been under or unemployed since summer of 2009. I have completed hundred & hundreds of applications and gone on dozens of interviews. I stopped counting because it is too damn depressing. Thousands of hours have been spent searching on-line, being interviewed, and attending networking events. There is a cost for on-line access, mileage, nylons, and thank-you notes. I have a Master degree and over ten years of work experience but I can’t get hired.

I’ve procured a part-time job but the pay is horrible and there are no benefits. I’ve applied for other part-time jobs to fill in the gap but no go. Age discrimination? I dyed my hair a light brown. Size discrimination? I’ve been trying to lose weight. Education discrimination? I removed my Master degree from my resume so it won’t intimidate people. What else do I need to do? I’ve been singing and dancing as fast as I can…

No health or vision insurance. I’ll never be able to retire. One catastrophe away from bankruptcy. I am a frugal person. My savings are nearly depleted though I only purchase absolute necessities. Poverty breaks your heart. You lose hope. Depression and fear can be paralyzing. I wonder why. The big WHY. I wonder what I have done so wrong that I must experience this suffering. I know that I am fortunate compared to millions of people living in the world but it would be nice to be middle-class again. I’d like to return to being a donor to charities instead of a recipient.

My car needs tires and a tune up. Actually, I really need a car with better mileage. I need an oven that doesn’t spew carbon monoxide when I cook. My shower needs to be repaired. The washing machine is dead. My front walkway needs replacing, it’s a hazard. I have delayed and deferred home maintenance that I fear being cited by the city. I’d love to refinance the house at a lower interest rate but no bank will re-mortgage me while I only work part-time. I need dental work done. I have an outstanding bill at a nonprofit community medical clinic; I have to pay for another cervical biopsy because they are concerned that I have cancer. I don’t have the energy to fret. I won’t treat it anyway because of lack of funds.

Bitch bitch, moan moan. I feel to sick and tired of trying. My options are running out. I am headed towards bankruptcy unless I get a better paying job soon. I cry every time I get rejected after an interview. Anxiety is my constant companion. If you have ever received any joy from reading this blog, please make a contribution. You pay to go to the movies or a concert, right? This blog is an art form. I express myself with words instead of a paintbrush or clay. Please donate to my cause, “Feed the Kitty” at www.gofundme.com/i4ix0 Thank you for your time and consideration of this request. Tilly and ZoZo express gratitude, too!!

All gifts are graciously accepted.
Copyright © 2013 by Ima B. Musing; All rights reserved.