Thursday, June 26, 2014

DEAR PRESIDENT OBAMA


President Obama is currently visiting Minnesota to talk with "real people." I had originally posted this blog on January 3rd, 2013. Alas, the White House did not contact me. He has made some progress on these issues, which is good. Alas, I am still in "poverty" due to a job with low-pay.

*****ORIGINAL POST*****

January 3, 2013
Dear President Obama,
Congratulations on the beginning of your second term and impressive inauguration speech. I trust that you will lead the United States into become a more equitable place for women, same-sex couples, and all people of diversity. We are only as strong as the weakest amongst us so please do not cut education or support for those in poverty.

I fear that the Beltway Mentality will stymie your efforts. Many occupants of the Beltway consider themselves to be superior to other American citizens. This superiority complex is a form of narcissism and we all know what happened to Narcissus. I strongly urge you to fill open jobs with experts who are not connected with the Beltway of Washington, D.C. Bring in fresh realistic ideas to the Capitol and perhaps it will help to loosen the Congressional constipation.

As a person with Native American heritage, I sincerely hope that you will pay attention to Indian Country; many of my relatives continue to suffer from the American Holocaust. Best wishes with your endeavors. If you’d like to chat, please let me know.

Sincerely,
Ima B. Musing
Concerned Citizen

PS I'm extremely happy that women will be gaining equal status in the military with full combat duties. As the military goes, so goes our culture since veterans hold many positions of authority in the civilian world. Thank you!!!

*****END*****

Best wishes!
Copyright © 2014 by Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

IMA’S BOOKWORM REVIEW, VOLUME V, ISSUE 8

Perhaps this could be the “gap-ola” issue…

Be Safe I Love You by Cara Hoffman Three and a Half Worms
Frank study of a wounded warrior who returns home. Jumping though time needed more clarification and the story could have been fleshed out deeper.

And The Hills Opened Up by David Oppegaard Three Worms
Western horror story, be prepared for casualties. Story seemed more like a movie sketch; it really needed more character development and situational analysis. Map would have been helpful, too.

Marshlands by Mathew Olshan Three Worms
Intriguing beginning of the book muddied by missing details. Time leaps were confusing; perhaps a different order would of worked better.

The Vanishing by Wendy Webb Three Worms
Fairly well written mystery but has some gaps. Nice visual details of landscape. Needed a better-detailed map of the house and grounds.

Palmerino by Melissa Prichard Two and Half Worms
Pretentious and insufferable main character is mixed in with ghost memoir and writers process. Could have been great with more clarity and polished thoughts.

Fill the fact chasm!
Copyright © 2014 by Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Friday, June 20, 2014

SUNNY SNOW

Sunny summer snowstorm
The cottonwood seeds swirl
Spinning towards a new home
Hopes of taking root
Rising on their own
To create a future twirling squall.

Ah, summer!
Copyright © 2014 by Ima B. Musing; All rights reserved.

Monday, June 16, 2014

UNION DAY

Pat's breath is like a torch to Chris' tinder
Hormones mingle with their sweat
As they stand side by side
Waiting for the ceremony to be over
So they can tangle for eternity
And ignite many flames.

Best wishes to my dear friends who are able to finally able to tie the proverbial knot 24 years after declaring their love for each other. Marriage equity for all!!

NOTE: This poem could apply to any combination of gender…
Painting by Alison Price alisonpricestudios.com

Heat it up.
Copyright © 2014 by Ima B. Musing; All rights reserved.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

IMA’S BOOKWORM REVIEW, VOLUME V, ISSUE 7

Mediocre lot...

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison Two and a Half Worms
Glossary helpful but needed a genealogy charts and map. Irritating when characters used multiple variations of their name. Bewildering plot line, though it is appropriate for the main character of the book. Plotline augmentation needed to care about their fate. Reminiscent of ancient China, Mongolia, and Nepal.

Real Happy Family by Caeli Wolfson Widger Two and a Half Worms
Females all obsessed with weight and appearance. Male characters not expanded enough. Bones of a good book but second half seem hurried and the ending too tidy.

The Poacher’s Daughter by Michael Zimmer Two and Half Worms
Astonishing mortality rate for the characters and the pace of travel would have killed the horses. Needed a map, glossary, and more character development. Good tale but could have been better.

A Star in the Face of the Sky by David Haynes Two Worms
Beleaguered with inconsistent narrative, flash-backs, and convoluted thought exploration a compelling story is lost. Serious editing is needed to eradicate unnecessary verbiage and clarify the story. Flash-forwards ruined the tale.

Even in Darkness by Lynn Hightower Two Worms
Underdeveloped story requires more fleshing out and clarification. Genesis of a good thriller but sadly lacking the details.
Seeking better stories!
Copyright © 2014 by Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

CARPARK PERSECUTION

The metal vultures circle
Stalking their prey
I feel the heat of their engines
The whir of the AC and muted thump of base
They strive to make eye contact
I shake my head no
And hurry zigzagging to my car
If they smile, I may allow them to slip
Into my perfect parking spot.

Walk, dang it!
Copyright © 2014 by Ima B. Musing; All rights reserved.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

ORIENTING THE HELP

Personal assistants can be useful, if you train them correctly. It is a lot easier to instruct them when you are young because they easily charmed. Practice looking adorable and fall asleep near them. Make certain that they are constantly repeating the phrase, “How cute” and “I love you.” Most assistants are not bright enough to understand the nuances of our language, it takes a lot of patience to teach them the most basic of commands.

Reward the patron-servant by permitting them to gaze upon your beauty. Tease them by rubbing against their leg and dashing away. If they are especially well behaved, you can consent for them to touch you briefly. It is not advised to allow them to rub your tummy too frequently because they will become emotional when you withhold affection. Mimic the “I am frightened” fledgling cry to get their attention and compensate them with a purr or chin rub when they respond appropriately. Tutor them on proper treat distribution, they are your proverbial "sugar" servant who must provide for your every need.

Ignore the helper at least once per day. Purr only when happy. Overuse of purrs can lead to the aide not fully appreciating your honored presence. Never, never use claws or bite, their skin is very delicate and breaks easily. You don’t want to have to pay for a visit to their veterinarian. It is difficult to procure good help these days. The mostly hair-less have the attention span of a gnat. Thus, you must be self-sufficient unless you are blessed with an unusually attentive attendant. Stay tidy, keep the food and water area immaculate because the stinky ones don’t like crumbs. Groom constantly since these creatures forget that they are supposed to brush you on an hourly basis. Remember, their vision, hearing, taste, and smell are limited.

Only vomit hairballs on the linoleum or cement because bipeds are fond of their carpet due to hairless feet. Use the litter box; attempts to punish the bad employee by defecating or urinating in their bed or elsewhere will only lead to petty retribution. Maintain nail health by only scratching on the posts provided by the subordinate. Destruction of property tends to upset the harmony of the house. However, it is funny to purposefully knock down items while the assistant looks on in horror.

When an underling is in a bad mood, stay away. They may lash out inappropriately. Minions occasionally make odd noises and leak water, offer them a modicum of affection. They will sometimes hug too tightly but it seems to make them feel better. Stalking and killing vermin such as mice and spiders will often lead to goodies. Remember, as a feline you are a higher being and humans are merely servants. Treat them as such.

Affectionately,
Tilly
Trainer of Ima

PS If you have properly oriented the assistant, they will cry when you are ill and cough up a large chunk of money to pay for outrageously high medical bills. Mine did and I now feel great but she is worried about paying the mortgage. Please contribute to this blog. Thanks!!

Furballs unite.
Copyright © 2014 by Ima B. Musing; All rights reserved