Friday, May 31, 2013

IMA’S BOOKWORM REVIEW, VOLUME III, ISSUE 10

Saddened by the lack of characters of normal appearance. I’d like to read about the exploits of an average looking person who is a bit overweight with aches and pains but still manages to have an adventure.

Music of Ghosts by Sallie Bissell Three Worms
Victim should never be described on the back flap of a book, it ruined the first chapter. Murder mystery featuring a Native American woman! Subtle stereotypes besmirched a solid storyline.

The Bones of the Old Ones by Howard Andrew Jones Three Worms
Segment of an ongoing series. Entertaining with chase scenes that would translate well in a movie. Nice to encounter a positive portrayal of Muslim heroes, though the females are routinely chided. Good humor though the conclusion was hasty.

Star Wars: Scoundrels by Timothy Zahn Three Worms
Reads like a screenplay and sanctioned by Lucasfilm. Fills in part of Han Solo’s life between movies IV and V. Complicated storyline and a lot of action. A few wee logic issues but mostly salient. There is a lot of literature for Star War fans available.

The People of Tomorrow are Not Afraid by Shani Boianjiu Two and a Half Worms
Droning adolescence is irritating. Narrative flips from one character to another’s without much ado. Some glimmers of greatness are drowned by the incessant narcissism of the characters.

The Wanting by Michael Lavigne Two and a Half Worms
Disorienting to jump from one character to the next with only a small symbol above their section to denote the change. It would have been much more effective to have Amir visit myriad people affected by his action. The ending was too abrupt.

Read On!
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.


IMA’S BOOKWORM REVIEW, VOLUME III OVERVIEW
A few books have been adjusted from their original rating to be in better alignment. Don’t bother reading anything at 2.5 or below.

© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

FOR THE CHILDREN

The wounds run deep with horrific consequences in the Native American Indian community, regardless of where the descendent resides. Fear and pain cause negative behavior resulting in deplorable statistics. At one time, we were 100% of the continent’s population but oppression began as soon as the first settler declared the land as theirs.

The resulting systematic genocidal effort significantly shrunk the Native American population. The Indian Residential Boarding School System wrought some of the deepest and continuing tragedies. Armando Gutierrez G., a powerful artist, challenged me to explore the issue further. I had been stating that some members of the Native American community are dealing with “Suppressed Sorrow” but it may be a more intensive “Paralyzing Pain/Fear” due to the generational trauma. Extreme stress may render a person helpless, they are not able to think clearly or make good decisions.

Everyone reacts to trauma differently, it is important not to over-generalize. Not every Native American was directly affected by the Indian Residential Boarding School System. Not every Native American cares about it. However, a significant number of Native Americans are trying to live with the aftereffects of the trauma. Sadly, the pain and fear will continue to burden future generations unless we boldly expose the truth and seek reconciliation for ourselves. Everyone is cordially invited to join our petition on Facebook. We welcome all supporters to establish this effort throughout the United States of America. It’s for the children.

PETITION:
Truth and Reconciliation Commission of the USA will be established to contribute to truth, healing and reconciliation between Native American Indian Nations and the United States of America.

Please join our Facebook page at:
https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Petition-to-establish-a-Truth-and-Reconciliation-Commission-of-the-USA/127454177426801

Mr. Guiterrez’s website is AgutierrezG.com He is interested in learning about Clan Mothers.

Save the Children!
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

NAUGHTY & NICE

Part one was posted on May 22nd, 2013.

Our house is over a century old and a bit drafty. I have to place plastic over the windows to keep out some of the chill. As a result, the cat’s favorite program “Nature Out the Window” is muffled for the season. When it warms, I remove the plastic and switch out the storm windows for screens. The felines are delighted to watch, smell, and listen to all that is in their range. I know that their senses are much more acute than a human’s and it makes them blissful.

Minnesota experienced an extended winter and a painful seesaw of weather as spring struggled with the jet stream. I had removed the plastic but snow ensued so the window had to remain closed. Tilly went to the window and plaintively cried as she scratched at it. I felt sorry for her but wasn’t about to let the frigid air into the house. I had turned off the furnace and can’t afford to turn it back on. Her wee walnut sized brain just couldn’t figure out why the delights of the window were not at her disposal. Aww, such a poor maligned thing.

I rotate the toys to keep her occupied. Otherwise Tilly will find other ways to fill her time. She has discovered that she likes to jump from the dining room table to the top of the china cabinets. Because she is short she sometimes misses and goes crashing onto the floor below. It is quite a disturbing sound. I can’t move either piece of furniture so I have to block off the top of the cabinet with a box to keep Tilly from the top of the cabinet. Not attractive.

Tilly has mastered the art of woebegone. She will cry at a specific pitch that makes me go on alert. Scientists actually spent money to determine that cats vocalize at the same pitch that human infants do, that is how felines manipulate us with their supposed tears. She will moan for treats, whine for attention, cry for who the hell knows why. Pavlov’s Dog has nothing on me; she has trained me to respond to her needs. Woof – woof.

When I reach into the drawer to withdraw the manual can opener, she will rush in and asks, “Now?” Tilly is absolutely certain that every can is tuna or some type of treat for her. Her excited meowing brings in Zozo who joins the harassment. I rarely give them a taste but sometimes I will show them the can and they are often repulsed by the contents. It’s funny to see their face express disgust, especially anything with vinegar. Their pooh smells of vinegar so they probably think that I’m eating crap. One day I was puttering in the kitchen and I swear that Tilly waltzed in and said, “For me?” I guess that I have spent too much time with felines when I actually start to understand their language. Perhaps I shall procure a canine when funding permits…

This is sweet Zozo.


Cat Lady Lives Here.
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

SWEET STINKER

Tilly, my sweet baboo, is a naughty cat. She recently turned four years old nevertheless still seeks out mischief. As you can see from her photo below, she is utterly adorable. She is small for a Maine Coon but that is probably due to mixed heritage. She was about five weeks old when I adopted her into our home because my elder cat, Momo, had died and Zozo was depressed.

The ensuing years have been a tad tumultuous. Zozo wanted a companion but Tilly wanted to be Queen Cat. As a result, Zozo has become more jumpy and submissive even though she outweighs Tilly by at least a pound. Zozo isn’t overweight she is a long muscular feline. Tilly likes to pester Zozo so Zo ends up yelling and swatting Tilly several times per day. They really didn’t get along until Tilly was two years old and post spaying.

Tilly has her claws and ignores the scratching post. She prefers to wear them down on the wood post in the basement and the floor carpet. The carpets are old and mangy but someday I plan to rip them out and get the hardwood floors refinished. I don’t know what she will do at that time. It is aggravating when she scratches at the door. The cats aren’t allowed on second floor due to the plants and she will sit at the top of the stairs and cry. She scratched some of the paint off the door (I’m planning to repaint it anyway but its irritating). I placed two feet of aluminum foil at the base of the door, which only deterred her for a few weeks. She soon destroyed the foil.

Zozo went through an impish phase, too. Her nickname was Chewbacca. She chewed anything and everything. She even gnawed along the wood table that I inherited from my grandparents. It now has tiny cat teeth marks along the edge. Zozo would also crawl into any box or bag that had an opening. She frequently would get stuck in a box and call to me for help. One time she became trapped under the radiator trying to reach a toy. She forgot that she had grown and couldn’t squeeze into the small space. It took a couple years before she finally calmed down.

Momo was about seven years old when she arrived shivering at my doorstep. She had been neglected and somewhat abused by her previous owners. She didn’t trust me and I didn’t know what to do with an indoor feline. She chomped on me several times before she figured out that I would not hurt her. Momo had been starved at some point so she compulsively ate paper. I had to make certain that no paper products were within reach even with food in the bowl. She was always concerned when the contents of the bowl dropped below three-quarters full. Momo became a very good companion and I still miss her fuzzy presence.

To be continued…

Cat patron and servant.
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

CASH MOB ST PAUL MN MAY EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT

Celebrate the eleventh Cash Mob St Paul MN (CMSPM)! Help support a local business by spending at least $20 cash at this event (okay to spend less). Join the group and event at www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Cash-Mob-St-Paul-MN/297499490345966

CMSPM Event #11
Please join us:
Date: Saturday, May 25th, 2013
Time: 11am (okay to arrive late or visit shop on a different day)
Location: 3 Kittens Needle Arts
The Village at Mendota Heights (shopping complex)
750 Main Street, Suite 112 www.3kittensneedlearts.com
Mendota Heights 55118 651-457-4969

The cash mob rules are simple:
1. Spend $20 cash (more or less but cash does speed up the check out process),
2. Chat with three people that you don’t know but please bring along a friend or two, and
3. Enjoy yourself! We want this to be a fun experience for everyone.

On the CMSPM Facebook (FB) page:
* Please RSVP with “Join” if you can make it; invite your FB Friends; and SHARE THIS INVITATION WITH OTHERS via FB by posting on your personal page. Help spread the word to non-FB folks (see next paragraph for details).
* If you can’t attend, you can temporarily indicate a “Maybe” to invite your FB friends and then decline at a later date.
* Please decline before the event if you have to cancel. It’s rude to be a no-show.
* “Like” our FB community page at “Cash Mob St Paul MN” to receive notification of future events and invite your FB Friends to join us, too!

We welcome other methods of advertising our efforts, if you would like to co-host or publicize this event in another way, such as MeetUp or another Facebook group. Please send a message via our FB page and keep us informed as to the numbers of people attending. The more the merrier!

We permit business owners to nominate their own shop. If we banned proprietors, they would just ask someone else to recommend their store. If the weather is terrible, kindly visit the store on another date. We will not reschedule.

Optional: Wear something green to the occasion to indicate that you are a member of the Cash Mob…just an idea, not a requirement.

Thank you ever so much!

PS If you can’t join us for this happening, please patronize the business another time and let them know that you heard about their entrepreneurial efforts from Cash Mob St Paul MN.

SHOP LOCAL EVERY WEEK!
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

ODE TO EQUITY 2013

Come August First
We will smile until we burst

Watching the beloved
Bride & Bride
Groom & Groom
Walk down the aisle

We stand on the side of love
Though we had to give the public a gentle nudge
And the Legislators a little shove

Love is Love
The law will finally agree
As we cheer each happy couple
Who enter matrimony!

Minn-EQUITY-sota

NOTE: Unitarian-Universalist "Standing on the Side of Love" reference.

Best Wishes, I adore weddings!
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing; all rights reserved.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

MIND TORNADO

Insomnia is a bitch. Right now it is 2am and though my body is fatigued, my restless mind is whirling. Generally, I procure four to six hours of slumber each evening. I rarely gain uninterrupted sleep. I wake easily and am a tosser-turner on a good night. The bladder bellows at least once per evening, which is exasperating. Plus, I have sleep apnea and I fear that my breathing machine will break. I cannot afford to buy a new one. Inability to sleep is torturous. It wrecks the next day entirely.

Stress is insidious. It currently permeates every aspect of my existence. I am tense about my lack of income and trying to accomplish full-time work in part-time hours at a lousy paying dead-end job. I am troubled watching heinous Alzheimer’s consume my Mother. I am hassled by the horrid auto insurance company accusing me of lying about my injuries due to an auto crash that I did not cause. I still experience pain from the accident but have no health insurance. The yard needs to be prepped for spring. So much to do and not enough time to accomplish it all. My calendar is full and I feel frazzled. It churns in a mental twister.

I chewed my fingernails until my mid-twenties and finally broke the habit after I began to see a mental health counselor. However, when I am stressed I begin to chew again. Recently I unconsciously began to tear them off. Thus, I now have extremely short nails because I decided to trim the remainder instead of chomping on them. Not attractive.

Stress drives me to eat away my anxiety. Food in the tummy calms me down. If I get too fretful I tip the other way and can’t eat as I fall into depression. It’s a blade of a knife. I need to lose weight but mental anguish should not be the cause. I strive to take a walk or putter in the garden on a daily basis, weather permitting. Television programs are usually mediocre and I can’t afford any type of entertainment. I can fall into the storyline of a well-crafted novel for distraction. Thank goodness library books are free, well, I pay for access via my taxes. The cats are helpful. They make me take care of their needs and reward me with purrs. Writing is therapeutic, which is why I enjoy blogging and hearing back from kindred readers. It would be nice to have a beau; perhaps coupling would help me to relax.

Enough already! After an extremely dreadful phase, I am feeling better. I shall switch to cheerier topics in forthcoming entries!

Seeking R & R
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

LAW OF LOVE

Marriage should be based on two adults who want to have a permanent bond. Bonding is much more important than gender. As long as the marriage involves two unrelated adults (over the age of 18), it isn’t anyone else’s business. At 5pm today, May 15th, 2013 the State of Minnesota, United States of America will join eleven other states in recognizing marriage equity. Barring frivolous lawsuits, the bill will become Minnesota Law on August 1st, 2013.

I cried tears of joy when the debates ended in positive votes in the Minnesota House of Representatives and the Minnesota Senate. Enthusiastically elated that marriage equity is happening in my lifetime. I called a dear friend who resides in California and blubbered the results. He knows that I have been talking with elected officials about equity since I was a college student. After work I ventured to the home of friends and we went out for a celebratory supper, drank champagne, and were happy.

They have been together for nearly twenty-three years and now will have a choice to get married or “live in sin.” At least they can choose. Their personal commitment to each other will be legally recognized. About ten years ago one of the partners became ill and had to be rushed to the Emergency Room. He was undergoing procedures and lost consciousness. His partner was not legally permitted to make medical discussions, his mom had to be brought in to instruct the doctors. Actually, she did whatever his partner instructed. Thankfully, he recovered but if they had been a heterosexual couple the medical care would not of been delayed by waiting for kin to arrive. The result could have been far worse due to the law.

This is the civil rights issue of the 21st Century. Not too long ago marriage was forbidden between people of different ethnic backgrounds or religions. There was cultural, philosophical, religious, institutional and legal resistance to integration. The efforts of thousands of people took years to get the Civil Rights Act passed and enforced. Too many people were harmed or killed in the process. They were brave and strong. We have not reached parity for everyone but America is a lot better than it was 50 years ago.

People of faith know that The Supreme Being(s) do not make mistakes. Every “gay” person, which includes gay men, lesbian women, bisexual, transgender, intersex, intrasex, queer and questioning people are meant to be. LGBTQ or Rainbow community members are at least 10% of the population. They were not arbitrarily created. Indigenous and many Native American tribes have conducted two-spirit (same-sex) marriages for eons. Agnostics and atheists know that sexuality is a genetic trait. Each person is born with his or her sexuality intact, it isn’t a whim. People do not choose who to love, love chooses them. I knew at an early age that boys were cute…

Legal same-sex matrimony will boost the US economy with more nuptial ceremonies and eventually divorces. I know several couples that have traveled to states and countries to get married even though their union will not be legally recognized in Minnesota until the bill becomes law. One couple moved to New Zealand to procure their rights and they have met many other couples that did the same. We are losing some amazing people because they are seeking equal rights. I am appalled that the Minnesota State Legislature passed a bill in 2011, which placed a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage in Minnesota on the ballot in 2012. Minnesota was the first state to reject the repulsive measure. In fact, the authors of the bill should be congratulated, they caused Minnesotans to really discuss the issue and the tide of tolerance washed over their efforts. www.freedomtomarry.org has a lot of information.

A compromise of “Domestic Partnership” or “Civil Unions” is not an acceptable substitution for marriage. Approximately 500 laws and regulations give rights to married people. They would all have to be amended to include domestic partnerships, civil unions, and recognize marriages that are legal in some states and not in others. DOMA must end. The US Supreme Court must rule that all people have equal rights, regardless of their sexuality. A huge number of heterosexual couples would benefit from a domestic partnership and civil union inclusion clause, including my nephew who is raising kids with his “common-law” partner in Texas.

We need to follow the example of the Civil Rights Movement founders; such as Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. inspired by the nonviolent actions of Mahatma Gandhi. We need an inspirational person to lead the protests and boycotts. Same-sex marriage or domestic partnership/civil union must be legalized in the United States soon. Period. End of Discussion.

PS I recycled some parts of this posting from an article I wrote in 2011. The words still hold true.

Love don’t know no gender.
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

LOVE IS THE LAW

Minnesota is poised to expand Marriage Equity in the USA! The Minnesota House of Representatives comfortably passed a bill to extend civil marriage rights to same-sex couples on Thursday, May 9th, 2013. I was at work and my boss was nice enough to permit me to listen to the debate. I was moved to tears many times. I was utterly thrilled when it was officially passed with a margin of 16 votes, 75 to 59, with the assistance of four courageous Republicans who dared to defy their leaders. The Minnesota Senate should easily pass the bill and Governor Dayton will sign the bill into law which will be take affect August 1st (pending the dismissal of all silly litigation). Hip-hip-hooray!!

UPDATE: Minnesota Senate passed the bill 37 to 30 on Monday, May 13th, 2013. Governor Dayton will sign on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013. What utter joy!!!

Love will be the law in Minnesota commencing on August 1, 2013 barring litigation. I am certain that lawsuits to block the bill will be filed immediately but hopefully the bill was written in a way to circumvent disruption. I am proud to be Minnesotan again and look forward to attending a multitude of weddings since I have a lot of Lesbian and Gay friends. It was profoundly hurtful when the State Legislature passed a bill outlawing same-sex marriage and I was fearful that the constitutional amendment to bar same-sex marriage would pass in 2012. My fellow Minnesotans audaciously voted No to the amendment and now we honor love by making it the law. Yahoo!! This is a personal issue for me.

He was taught it was evil and unnatural. It was dangerous to explore in rural Minnesota. He believes that that God condemns it. More than seven decades of self-loathing, over fifty years of marriage, and numerous prodigy did not heal him. Prayer only brought more pain. He hates the fact that his soul desires the companionship of another man. He has had numerous affairs with men and continues to view online pornography. He is my father.

I kinda realized that my dear old dad was at least bi-sexual in grade school. He had issues of Playgirl tucked away in the basement. Though I thought it was strange, he couldn’t be gay if he was married, right? I was naive and decided that someone must have sent him the magazines as a joke. During high school he and my mom had a huge fight about his ongoing affairs. He said it didn’t count since no children could be born, again, I didn’t comprehend the insinuation.

Once I entered college, my best friend came out to me as gay. He was concerned that I would reject him because of my conservative faith. I had already separated myself from organized religion and we remained friends. We became closer because he could be completely honest with me. However, he gently pointed out to me that my dad was probably gay. HIV/AIDS was a new diagnosis and it frightened me. I gathered up prevention brochures and discreetly placed them in my dad’s office. I didn’t want him to contract the disease and give it to my mom. He never acknowledged their presence.

During the ensuing years, my dad has developed a fascination with my gay friends. He constantly asks how the couples are doing. My heart breaks for him. He hasn’t been able to be truthful about his sexuality and has suffered greatly. I think that he loved my mom but that faded long ago. Decades of misery together. They should have divorced and each located a good man for companionship.

I’ve made it clear to my father that homosexuality is a gift from the Creator (however the deity is defined, if it exists at all). He has never discussed his sexuality with me. I just wonder what would have happened if he could have been candid from the beginning. I know that I would not of been born but at least he and my mother would have had a better chance of being happy separately. He is now taking care of her since her dementia is getting worse every day. I hope but fear that he will never open himself to honest love after my mom dies. My dad deserves to love himself and be loved by a terrific man.

P.S. This is not “outing” my father, even if you read all my blogs you would not know the community where my family resides. If I were writing under my real name I would never discuss this topic openly, I would not risk causing him more discomfort. (Note: Segments of this column were originally published on October 13th, 2013.)

P.S.S. Thank you to the Suburbs, Chan Poling for permitting the marriage equity campaign to use their song “Love is the Law.” Granted, the verses are repetitive but it works well for a political initiative.

Love Rules!
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Friday, May 10, 2013

BROKEN BOOTSTRAPS

I despise the term resilience. I hate being told, “Pull yourself up.” I hate it when people who have never experienced long-term poverty assume that its all my fault. I have done everything possible to get out of this situation. I constantly apply for jobs and have been on numerous interviews. I don’t count the number anymore because it’s too depressing. Corporate human resource personnel have informed me that they don’t consider nonprofit work as real employment. I keep being knocked down. I don’t have the strength to get up anymore. My boots are crumbling and there are no straps.

I have cut back expenses to the bare minimum. I cringe spending two dollars. I turned off the heat in the house and shivered during the April cold spells. I’ve sought out help from a nonprofit but their WIA program is pathetic. The Minnesota Workforce Center is under funded and can’t provide a one-on-one counselor to assist. I don’t qualify for a lot of programs because I went to college or because I don’t have kids. I am over 40 and world considers me a has-been but I know that I am much more competent than I was ten years ago.

Poverty is more than just lack of money. It’s about lack of hope, which is far more dangerous. When people lose hope they can become destructive. Fear, pain, depression, and anxiety are the fuel. Poor people either hurt themselves or others because they know that no one cares about them. Why should they care about themselves or others? How dare politicians support the wealthy and let the middle class shrink. It will only lead to societal conflict.

I am not suicidal but I know that my existence doesn’t really matter. Very few people would notice that I am dead. Perhaps, dear reader, you may miss my odd entries but you’d soon find another blogger to fill your time. My family is crappy, my mother is dying, no boyfriend, my friends are busy with their lives, and no one wants to hire me. My cats like me but that is probably only because I feed them.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve started selling stuff to pay the bills. I can’t refinance at a lower mortgage interest rate because I’m only working part-time. I don’t’ have the money to pay for the closing costs anyway. My options are dwindling along with my hope. I suppose that I should just get rid of all my possessions and sell the house. I am a failure. An old fat ugly loser. Rejected at every turn. I should get rid of it all and disappear. No one would notice.

Waste of Space.
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

ON THE VERGE


Minnesota stands on the verge of rejoining the Progressive Universe! Minnesota House of Representatives will vote later today either in favor of Marriage Equity (aka Same-Sex Marriage) or oppose it. I am certain that the House leadership would not of brought the bill to a vote if they feared failure. It will be close but I remain very hopeful. Sadly, I must be at work instead of joining the pellmell at the Minnesota State Capitol.

Once the House votes in favor of the bill, the Senate will vote on Monday, if needed there will be a reconciliation committee. I am certain that the Senate bill will reflect the House bill as to speed up the process. Once it has been passed by both legislative bodies Governor Mark Dayton will sign it into law. Pop open the champagne. Minnesota will make Hubert H. Humphrey proud!

I look forward to the August and fall weddings of the many Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender couples that I know. Love is love and you should be able to marry the person that you love. Many Native American tribes and indigenous communities have married LGBT members for eons. It is time for Minnesota and America to reflect reality.

I believe in love!
(c) Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing, all rights reserved.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

PULLING OF HAIR

Attended a two-day conference out of town, which was paid for by the sponsoring organization. Returned invigorated by the meetings and exhausted from travel. A pile of notices from my auto insurance company was in the mailbox. I decided to read them. To my dismay, the company is only paying part of my bills from the accident. I am responsible for several visits to the chiropractor and all the massages. I was immediately overwhelmed with fear. How can I pay these bills? I am nearly broke. I began to cry and then sob. I was tired, hungry, dehydrated and now frightened. Terrified is a better descriptor.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt dizzy and disoriented. Panic. Fear. Utter despair. My mind automatically swarmed to foreclosure and losing everything. I’m not a materialistic person but I like my house. I like having a garden and cats. I know that they are a luxury but why am I being punished? What have I done wrong? I volunteer, I donate (when funds permit), and seek to help others. I’ve worked in nonprofits and educational settings for most of my career.

The anxiety sent me spiraling toward the yawning pit of depression. I couldn’t sleep or eat. I could barely drink water. I tried to distract myself but it was difficult. I was in a horrible funk for several days. A friend called and was very concerned because she said that I didn’t sound like my usual perky self. I finally was able to do some chores on the third day but I just can’t deal with the bills right now. My chiropractor has called but I am not able to communicate with her. I don’t know where I will get the money to pay her fee.

I still have to deal with the insurance company. I can’t afford to hire a lawyer to appeal. I want to switch to another company but feel too stressed right now. I am still in the midst of a hectic phase and under a lot of pressure at work. My boss will be starting a two week leave soon, which only adds to the stress. I just want to pull out my hair and scream. Frustrated. Flustered. Still afraid of foreclosure and bankruptcy. All the cats want is food, water, clean litter box and a cuddle. My sweet baboo, Tilly, crawled up on my chest and took a nap after I cried on the couch. At least the cats love me, though I wish that they would contribute to the household income.

Saved by a Purr.
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

Friday, May 3, 2013

SLIP STREAM

The space-time continuum seems to speed up when I am rushed. Barely recovered from my month-long cold when I fell into a frantic phase. Worked, alas, part time. Picked up a neighbor from a medical appointment. Taught a class one night and attended a gathering with my faith community the next evening. Dropped off books to the library. Attended two meetings. Volunteered at a fundraiser. Coordinated a Cash Mob St Paul MN gathering, and walked around a wee bit at the St. Paul Art Crawl. Searched for jobs and took a typing test at the Workforce Center (60 words per minute). Attended one birthday party and then a separate gathering of friends. Dug up rhubarb bulbs for a couple cousins. Our ancestors brought the rhubarb with them from Prussia and it is a fabulous ruby variety. Traveled and participated in a Board of Directors meeting. Joined a communal supper with a group from my faith community. Plus, shoveled and dealt with stuff at home.

No wonder that cats pester me when I am home, they need attention too. No time to sit around and scratch their ears or rub their tummy. I make certain that they have food, water and a cleaned out litter box. I will admit to occasionally forgetting but they neither starved nor were harmed by a rank toilet. The back porch began to reek. Toted the food scraps that I had temporarily stored in old gallon ice cream containers out to the compost bin. It is impossible to add material to a frozen compost heap during the winter. Packed for an overnight trip to a conference. Upon my return I hosted two gatherings, a book-club soiree and then a potluck supper group the next night. Cleaning is a dreaded chore. It’s a bit disturbing to discover mystery food stuffed into the recesses of the refrigerator. However, I do enjoy hosting and making people happy. Leftovers are always lovely.

No time to breathe at work. I’m attempting to do full-time work during part-time hours. My boss wanted me to help at a client gathering and I declined. He was upset but I told him that I had to focus on client needs more than a party. Now that the weather is finally beginning to warm, there are more tasks to do. Our database is horrible and I have to call each client at least once. I don’t have a telephone headset despite several requests. I share my tiny office with a loud person, no window, and no locks. I am fearful that client records will be stolen. I really dislike the job but am desperate for some income. No benefits and my savings continue to dwindle.

I apologize for this whiney entry. Sometimes I just need to moan and complain. At least the weather is improving. Two days of spring and its summer! I look forward to having time to tidy the vegetable and flower beds (its too early to rake). If you have ever enjoyed reading this blog, please consider assisting my existence via “Feed the Kitty” http://www.gofundme.com/i4ix0 Thank you ever so much!

Time & Money Needed
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.