Make new friends but keep the old,
One is silver and the other gold.
I remember singing this song in 4-H. As a teenager, I could not imagine not being friends with the people that I adored. How could we not be close? We would never ever stop being amigos. Silly me. Life intervenes and the connections either wither away or get severed. I still grieve for the loss of some of those connections.
Fortunately, I still have a smattering friends from high school. I lost track of a few of them but we reengaged communication. I’ve only had constant contact with one, Sally. Her husband is rather controlling so we haven’t been as close during the past five years. Facebook reconnected me several people including Lilly. She and I were born just days apart and our parents became involved in the same arts-n-crafts activities when we were two. We lived in different small towns but stayed in touch until she married a nasty guy. I was the godparent to their child until their family moved and communication ceased about 20 years ago. Last year Lilly contacted me via Facebook and I was happy to Friend her. Thankfully, she is doing well and I hope to see her the next time she is in Minnesota.
A few weeks ago I was watching a national television news show. I recognized the person featured in the story as the sibling of a college friend. Kelly and I were good friends and I was sad when she dropped out and moved away. Alas, we lost touch. Looked up the sister on the Internet. Took a risk and sent an email to the sister asking her to forward the message to Kelly. I added a postscript apologizing if I had the wrong person. I am 90% certain that I have the correct person but the memory gets a bit foggy after 25 years. I haven’t heard back, yet.
People change over time. I am hopeful that I can reunite with some of the good people in my life. I know enough to keep developing new relationships. I joined several Meetup groups and am starting to form friendships. It takes a lot of time and energy to determine if you are compatible with another person but delightful to locate a kindred spirit. As an introvert, I expend a lot of social energy at the when working full-time and have little remaining. Searching for a job is very socially isolating so I have made a concerted effort to have face-to-face contact with humans at least once per week. www.meetup.com provides that opportunity if I don’t have anything planned with friends. It is imperative to get out of the house. I love my cats but they aren’t very conversational beyond, “Give me a treat.”
Face to Face.
© 2012 Ima B. Musing
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Friday, December 17, 2010
SCROOGE WAS RIGHT
Bah humbug for the holiday season. Here is what I hate, the continuous perfection pressure. I am to be bright and happy at all encounters. I can’t be truthful because that would ruin the holiday mood of fake happiness. I usually state, “I’m okay except for unemployment,” the other person responds by mumbling that I’ll get a job soon. Yeah, right.
Family togetherness. Ha. I get along with my parents as long as we avoid such topics as politics, religion or anything controversial. My hyper-conservative father controls my mother so she is just his parrot. I find that I can only stand being in their presence for a couple days before I want to scream. My siblings are nasty and it is best to avoid them. They, their spouses, and kids enjoy making derogatory remarks about me when I am in the room with them. I can’t verbally retaliate because they gang up on me and call me whiney. Bastards. I feel so alone and lonely when I am with my family. They may have a biological connection but they have no clue how to be accepting or loving. I wish that I had a boyfriend or hubby to take with me to act as a buffer.
Gifts are just silly and usually people give you stuff that you don’t want or need. I have stopped giving presents to adults and generally send out kid gifts in the early part of the year. I don’t adhere to an arbitrary date set by some dude in the 14th Century as the birth of a wise person. I would rather follow the celestial calendar, such as Solstice and Equinox. Christmas this, Christmas that, Christmas permeates the culture. What about other faiths??? It is really disrespectful to ignore their holidays or make only one mention. Excuse me, but not everybody is a Christian.
Cards are the only exception. They are physical evidence that people know that I exist. I proudly display them, though Tillie the kitten tries to eat them. I keep track of who sends me a card from year to year. If they go for two years without returning a card that I have sent to them, they are off the list. Why waste money on a card, time to write out the card, and postage on someone who obviously doesn’t care?
My friends care but I don’t expect them to invite me to their family holiday gatherings. I usually sit at home alone with the cats. Yes, I am grumpy this year. I never expected to be 40-something alone, childless, and unemployed. I want to have a good job and a good boyfriend/hubby who may already have kids (who like me). I guess that is too much to ask for from the Santa-spirit.
Bah humbug.
© 2010
Family togetherness. Ha. I get along with my parents as long as we avoid such topics as politics, religion or anything controversial. My hyper-conservative father controls my mother so she is just his parrot. I find that I can only stand being in their presence for a couple days before I want to scream. My siblings are nasty and it is best to avoid them. They, their spouses, and kids enjoy making derogatory remarks about me when I am in the room with them. I can’t verbally retaliate because they gang up on me and call me whiney. Bastards. I feel so alone and lonely when I am with my family. They may have a biological connection but they have no clue how to be accepting or loving. I wish that I had a boyfriend or hubby to take with me to act as a buffer.
Gifts are just silly and usually people give you stuff that you don’t want or need. I have stopped giving presents to adults and generally send out kid gifts in the early part of the year. I don’t adhere to an arbitrary date set by some dude in the 14th Century as the birth of a wise person. I would rather follow the celestial calendar, such as Solstice and Equinox. Christmas this, Christmas that, Christmas permeates the culture. What about other faiths??? It is really disrespectful to ignore their holidays or make only one mention. Excuse me, but not everybody is a Christian.
Cards are the only exception. They are physical evidence that people know that I exist. I proudly display them, though Tillie the kitten tries to eat them. I keep track of who sends me a card from year to year. If they go for two years without returning a card that I have sent to them, they are off the list. Why waste money on a card, time to write out the card, and postage on someone who obviously doesn’t care?
My friends care but I don’t expect them to invite me to their family holiday gatherings. I usually sit at home alone with the cats. Yes, I am grumpy this year. I never expected to be 40-something alone, childless, and unemployed. I want to have a good job and a good boyfriend/hubby who may already have kids (who like me). I guess that is too much to ask for from the Santa-spirit.
Bah humbug.
© 2010
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