Homage to a classic holiday ballad, though I do have $350 worth of dental work on hold as well as three teeth who need crowns, including my front ones. To the tune of “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.”
All I want for 2013 is a full-time job
With ben-e-fits
In the East Metro*
All I want for 2013 is a full-time job
So-oh
I can be self-suffi-cient!
* anywhere in the Twin Cities...
Santa, are you listening?
© 2012 Ima B. Musing
Showing posts with label Santa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Santa. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Friday, December 16, 2011
SANTA GAMES
Reeking of liquor and cigarette smoke is my first memory of meeting “Santa Claus.” I was a little over four years old. My mom’s best friend, Ronnie, took me to meet him at the only grocery store in our small town while my mom worked. He was positioned in front of a fake fireplace. I told Ronnie that I didn’t want to go close but she gave me a shove. St. Nick plopped me on top of his lap and burped. I was perturbed. A photo was snapped of me looking very unhappy.
Much to my parent’s consternation I announced that Santa wasn’t real. They tried to convince me otherwise but I was certain that it was a big hoax. A few days after my encounter with Smelly Santa I was loaded into the car with my sisters and taken on a long drive. We bounced over country roads and ended up on an isolated farm. At the end of a road was a hutch, which was painted white and decorated with candy canes and other holiday décor. The inside was warmed by a potbelly stove and crammed with Christmas paraphernalia.
A jolly Man In Red with a real white beard greeted us. He smelled of soap. He knew a lot about me and my skepticism ebbed a bit. Why the heck would Santa bother to sit in a tiny building in Minnesota? Doesn’t he have a lot to do besides talk to a kid? I was never completely convinced but played along because it made my parents happy.
After that experience I began to question everything. If Jolly Old St. Nicolas wasn’t real, what was? What other lies had my parents told me?? My journey into esoteric thought began… and hasn’t ended.
Ho-ho-ho
© 2011 Ima B. Musing
Much to my parent’s consternation I announced that Santa wasn’t real. They tried to convince me otherwise but I was certain that it was a big hoax. A few days after my encounter with Smelly Santa I was loaded into the car with my sisters and taken on a long drive. We bounced over country roads and ended up on an isolated farm. At the end of a road was a hutch, which was painted white and decorated with candy canes and other holiday décor. The inside was warmed by a potbelly stove and crammed with Christmas paraphernalia.
A jolly Man In Red with a real white beard greeted us. He smelled of soap. He knew a lot about me and my skepticism ebbed a bit. Why the heck would Santa bother to sit in a tiny building in Minnesota? Doesn’t he have a lot to do besides talk to a kid? I was never completely convinced but played along because it made my parents happy.
After that experience I began to question everything. If Jolly Old St. Nicolas wasn’t real, what was? What other lies had my parents told me?? My journey into esoteric thought began… and hasn’t ended.
Ho-ho-ho
© 2011 Ima B. Musing
Monday, December 12, 2011
LETTER TO SANTA CLAUS
Dear Mr. Kringle,
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. Actually, I seek a full-time job with benefits so that I can afford to have my two front teeth crowned. I have temporary caps right now and one chipped last year so it looks horrible. I cannot afford to get it fixed until I procure employment.
I don’t expect the perfect position, just one that pays enough to cover the bills. I would like to do a job that I am good at and enjoy but I’m willing to do almost anything. I would like a nice boss who doesn’t micromanage and co-workers who are nice. It would be most amenable to be within ten miles of home, on a bus line, or within walking distance of home. A real office with a door would be a treat since I don’t do very well in a cube.
I live a very modest life (no cable, 12 year old car, no smart phone, etc). I don’t get a thrill from the acquisition of stuff. I need dental and health care insurance because it is blasted expensive to procure on my own ($279 per month with no vision coverage). I desperately need new eyeglasses because my old ones are scratched and blurry due to aging eyes.
The cats need checkups, vaccinations, and Tillie spayed. The house requires electrical and plumbing updates. Two lights aren’t functioning and some of the wiring is very old and must be replaced. The shower isn’t working, the bathtub leaks, and two faucets drip. The piping is steel and has buildup inside. The front walkway has crumbled. The basement floods easily so it needs trench drains. Lots of preservation is desired for this nearly 100-year-old abode. I want to pay for all these repairs by working.
I’ve been a good person and diligently sought a job. I’ve sent out 368 applications and been on 16 interviews, thus far. I network as much as possible. I volunteer regularly to help others and gave vegetables from my garden to others. I helped two neighbors with designing and seeding their own native perennial yards. I’ve provided a lot of free babysitting for friends and consulting work. I strive to better my community.
Thank you for your time and contemplation of this request.
Safe travels,
Ima
Believe in hope.
© 2011 Ima B. Musing
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. Actually, I seek a full-time job with benefits so that I can afford to have my two front teeth crowned. I have temporary caps right now and one chipped last year so it looks horrible. I cannot afford to get it fixed until I procure employment.
I don’t expect the perfect position, just one that pays enough to cover the bills. I would like to do a job that I am good at and enjoy but I’m willing to do almost anything. I would like a nice boss who doesn’t micromanage and co-workers who are nice. It would be most amenable to be within ten miles of home, on a bus line, or within walking distance of home. A real office with a door would be a treat since I don’t do very well in a cube.
I live a very modest life (no cable, 12 year old car, no smart phone, etc). I don’t get a thrill from the acquisition of stuff. I need dental and health care insurance because it is blasted expensive to procure on my own ($279 per month with no vision coverage). I desperately need new eyeglasses because my old ones are scratched and blurry due to aging eyes.
The cats need checkups, vaccinations, and Tillie spayed. The house requires electrical and plumbing updates. Two lights aren’t functioning and some of the wiring is very old and must be replaced. The shower isn’t working, the bathtub leaks, and two faucets drip. The piping is steel and has buildup inside. The front walkway has crumbled. The basement floods easily so it needs trench drains. Lots of preservation is desired for this nearly 100-year-old abode. I want to pay for all these repairs by working.
I’ve been a good person and diligently sought a job. I’ve sent out 368 applications and been on 16 interviews, thus far. I network as much as possible. I volunteer regularly to help others and gave vegetables from my garden to others. I helped two neighbors with designing and seeding their own native perennial yards. I’ve provided a lot of free babysitting for friends and consulting work. I strive to better my community.
Thank you for your time and contemplation of this request.
Safe travels,
Ima
Believe in hope.
© 2011 Ima B. Musing
Friday, December 17, 2010
SCROOGE WAS RIGHT
Bah humbug for the holiday season. Here is what I hate, the continuous perfection pressure. I am to be bright and happy at all encounters. I can’t be truthful because that would ruin the holiday mood of fake happiness. I usually state, “I’m okay except for unemployment,” the other person responds by mumbling that I’ll get a job soon. Yeah, right.
Family togetherness. Ha. I get along with my parents as long as we avoid such topics as politics, religion or anything controversial. My hyper-conservative father controls my mother so she is just his parrot. I find that I can only stand being in their presence for a couple days before I want to scream. My siblings are nasty and it is best to avoid them. They, their spouses, and kids enjoy making derogatory remarks about me when I am in the room with them. I can’t verbally retaliate because they gang up on me and call me whiney. Bastards. I feel so alone and lonely when I am with my family. They may have a biological connection but they have no clue how to be accepting or loving. I wish that I had a boyfriend or hubby to take with me to act as a buffer.
Gifts are just silly and usually people give you stuff that you don’t want or need. I have stopped giving presents to adults and generally send out kid gifts in the early part of the year. I don’t adhere to an arbitrary date set by some dude in the 14th Century as the birth of a wise person. I would rather follow the celestial calendar, such as Solstice and Equinox. Christmas this, Christmas that, Christmas permeates the culture. What about other faiths??? It is really disrespectful to ignore their holidays or make only one mention. Excuse me, but not everybody is a Christian.
Cards are the only exception. They are physical evidence that people know that I exist. I proudly display them, though Tillie the kitten tries to eat them. I keep track of who sends me a card from year to year. If they go for two years without returning a card that I have sent to them, they are off the list. Why waste money on a card, time to write out the card, and postage on someone who obviously doesn’t care?
My friends care but I don’t expect them to invite me to their family holiday gatherings. I usually sit at home alone with the cats. Yes, I am grumpy this year. I never expected to be 40-something alone, childless, and unemployed. I want to have a good job and a good boyfriend/hubby who may already have kids (who like me). I guess that is too much to ask for from the Santa-spirit.
Bah humbug.
© 2010
Family togetherness. Ha. I get along with my parents as long as we avoid such topics as politics, religion or anything controversial. My hyper-conservative father controls my mother so she is just his parrot. I find that I can only stand being in their presence for a couple days before I want to scream. My siblings are nasty and it is best to avoid them. They, their spouses, and kids enjoy making derogatory remarks about me when I am in the room with them. I can’t verbally retaliate because they gang up on me and call me whiney. Bastards. I feel so alone and lonely when I am with my family. They may have a biological connection but they have no clue how to be accepting or loving. I wish that I had a boyfriend or hubby to take with me to act as a buffer.
Gifts are just silly and usually people give you stuff that you don’t want or need. I have stopped giving presents to adults and generally send out kid gifts in the early part of the year. I don’t adhere to an arbitrary date set by some dude in the 14th Century as the birth of a wise person. I would rather follow the celestial calendar, such as Solstice and Equinox. Christmas this, Christmas that, Christmas permeates the culture. What about other faiths??? It is really disrespectful to ignore their holidays or make only one mention. Excuse me, but not everybody is a Christian.
Cards are the only exception. They are physical evidence that people know that I exist. I proudly display them, though Tillie the kitten tries to eat them. I keep track of who sends me a card from year to year. If they go for two years without returning a card that I have sent to them, they are off the list. Why waste money on a card, time to write out the card, and postage on someone who obviously doesn’t care?
My friends care but I don’t expect them to invite me to their family holiday gatherings. I usually sit at home alone with the cats. Yes, I am grumpy this year. I never expected to be 40-something alone, childless, and unemployed. I want to have a good job and a good boyfriend/hubby who may already have kids (who like me). I guess that is too much to ask for from the Santa-spirit.
Bah humbug.
© 2010
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