Tuesday, March 11, 2014


When I was very young I did not appreciate the excessive amount of energy that I had despite lack of sleep. I did not value my teenaged idealism. I thought that good people doing good deeds would change the world for the better. I did not fully realize my lack of responsibility and stress during college.

Lots of people took advantage of my naïveté. They mocked, ridiculed, and humiliated me for not knowing. I had to adopt some stoicism to protect my heart. I could not blindly trust others anymore. Sad for me but required for survival. Adulthood is what I yearned for and was disappointed after attainment. It is a difficult struggle to seek optimism and hold onto a few strands of idealism in a harsh negative world.

I have met several teenagers who make life miserable for the people who love them. They should stretch their wings of independence but they don’t need to be so mean or vicious. My niece said and did a lot of hateful things. She was so desperate for attention that she convinced a guy that she was pregnant and then didn’t actually get pregnant for a couple months after the “fact.” He was obviously not very bright to have unprotected sex with her and not question an eleven-month gestation. She had another child and they married. They are still a couple but haven’t lived together for two years, largely because he is an alcoholic. She and the kids reside with my sibling #2 and hubby, which makes all the adults miserable. My sister doesn’t want to kick out my niece because the grandkids would suffer more. A bad situation caused by a young adult who wanted to prove that she could hold onto a relationship. It’s the innocent children who will continue the pain.

We humans have to wise up and stop this stupidity. To purposely harm others, especially those who are vulnerable, is reprehensible. The old adage, “What goes around, comes around” is true. When you do bad deeds, those bad deeds will come back to you or else harm the people that you care about somehow. I don’t believe in fate but I do believe that like attracts like. When you do good, good will come back and visa versa. It may not be obviously apparent but it seems to happen.

I wish that I would have jumped over my fears and taken more risk as a young adult. I should have traveled, lived on every continent, and had many lovers. I was too afraid. However, I refuse to fall into the well of sorrow or regret, that is tantamount to self-torture. No, I’m not dead yet. I have made the choice to have a home and be the personal assistant to two felines. I love to garden, read, partake in the arts, and blog but yearn for something more. It would be splendid to have the money to travel, live elsewhere, and collect lovers. Right now money is my main problem. I don’t know why I haven’t been able to attract lovers or a better job that is for other blog entries.

Carpe diem!
Copyright © 2014 by Ima B. Musing; All rights reserved

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