Thursday, December 15, 2011


Cloudy days during winter are the pits. I’d rather have it sunny and cold than cloudy and warm. However, I was happy for the rain because it will help the trees and perennials survive the dry cold air. My seasonal affective disorder/syndrome is in full reign when the clouds block the sunshine. I crave carbohydrates, especially a sweet treat and salty treat simultaneously like cookies and potato chips.

Add in my monthly menses and all I want to do is sleep and eat junk food. Not helpful. I have a full spectrum light, which I have on a timer to make certain that I don’t forget and operate it for an hour after sunset each night. I generally wake up okay so I don’t need it in the morning. However, on overcast days I will turn it on whenever I am near just to trick my brain. I take a daily dose of St. John’s Wort and that seems to be enough to alleviate the blues.

Stress and anxiety of unemployment makes SAD worse. I have learned that distraction is a good thing. My main life focus right now is job search. When I have extra time I work on projects around the house, read, blog, herd cats, and hang out with friends. I strive to be physically active but the cold bothers my lungs and malls cause me to sneeze. I’ll be shoveling snow when that falls. I need an inhaler for my asthma but that will have to wait for the job…

Long night’s journey into day will begin soon (winter solstice), though the temperatures seem to dip into the recesses of the Artic for a couple months afterwards. Gloom and doom. Difficult to hold onto optimism. I want to be self-sufficient again. I’m accustomed to taking care of myself and prefer to help others than be a recipient. It isn’t about arrogance; it’s just that I feel better when I am assisting others. This bee wants to buzz!

Seeking Sunshine!
© 2011 Ima B. Musing

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