Since perfection is an illusion, I will be content with Mr. Wonderful. Perhaps I have delayed too long. I didn’t want to get married until I finished my undergrad education. It took me five years to work my way through college. I expected to find a great guy and get hitched anytime after the age of 22. My first “love” Terry broke my heart and left for Europe to visit his old girlfriend. I worked at a horrible job for a year and decided to return to graduate school. Procured a master degree and planned to find a mate and jump the broom after the age of 25. Dated Mike, he proposed and I requested a bit more time. He dumped me and married someone else within a year. Didn’t hurt as much as breaking up with my first serious boyfriend (I was dealing with the miscarriage when Terry left town).
I dated a lot during my 20s, a bit during my 30s, and nada in my 40s. I have made plenty of relationship mistakes. I don’t know if “one got away” like a fish slipping a hook. I have hung out with several guys that I never kissed. Not sure why. More of an intellectual match than a physical spark. I do wonder about Keith. He and I got along very well during grad school. I finally decided that I wanted to kiss him but he disappeared and moved out west. A few years later he returned to Minnesota, got married, and had four kids. I wonder if I should have gone over to his house and grabbed him before he ran away. Not healthy to dwell on the “what if” scenario.
Intelligence is the number one trait. I am attracted to smart men. Not arrogantly intelligent. Smart enough to know that they aren’t smart enough to know everything. Honesty and integrity is the foundation of a good relationship. If we cant trust each other, what is the point of communicating? Humor is important. Not to be mean to others but to chuckle at the foibles of life. Open minded and accepting of diversity is imperative.
Physical traits aren’t all that important. Grooming is, like taking a shower, brushing teeth, and wearing clean clothes. The clothes don’t have to be fancy but at least not raggedy. I really like nice teeth; perhaps it is because I spent so much time with horses as a kid. My grandpa said that the teeth are an accurate indicator of health of an animal. Also, I feel rather self-conscious of my teeth because they are weak. I do not like aggressive men because any form of abuse is not acceptable. Period. End of Discussion.
Infidelity is not tolerated. It is fine to date other people but once a couple declares their “love” or commitment to each other, the sidebar relationships must end. The only exception is if the couple has an “open” relationship and both people can date other people. Full disclosure is better than cheating. However, if they have kids or get married the sidebars must stop because polygamy is reprehensible. Kids get neglected when their parents are diverted by other relationships.
I don’t feel very self-confident right now. My anxiety level is deplorably high due to extended unemployment. I need a nice person who loves me because of my myriad imperfections. I don't mind being single but committed coupling would be enjoyable. It would be absolutely fabulous to be accepted, appreciated, respected, and physically touched.
Wookin pa nub.
(Buckwheat Sings by Eddie Murphy)
© 2012 Ima B. Musing