Monday, January 7, 2013


Filled with a combination of anticipation and apprehension I signed up with the online dating website. Standard “who are you” profile outline and a photo started the process. Pleased that they require a photo of a human and have some basic decency standards.

Okcupid utilizes a behavioral questionnaire format to make its matches. You are asked a personal question with a few options, indicate what you would accept as a response from a potential match, and how important the question is to you. There is also an opportunity to write an independent retort to the question. It is a logical format and the more questions that you answer, the better opportunity that you have to be matched with someone who has similar responses. It is a tedious process but reasonable. They should provide detailed parameters of what “match, friend, and enemy” ratings entail which are listed next to a potential date.

Most of the questions are appropriate. Personal grooming habit inquests were a surprise. However, I am rather affronted by the continuous inquiry regarding drug usage and sex. Moderate social alcoholic consumption is fine but I have no interest in any other drugs. I wish that there would be a threshold query that stated, no drugs. Period. End of discussion.

As for sex, that is a private matter that I don’t care to discuss on their website. My libido is fully intact. I am a slow pot to boil regarding sexual interaction. It takes me a while to trust a man enough to be kissed, let alone touched. A one-night stand (aka sex on a first date or encounter) can be momentary thrilling. I’ve experienced one-niters but never felt emotionally fulfilled afterwards. Sex without emotion is merely exercise.

Granted, I haven’t been intimate for a while. Too long of a time. I am no longer a skinny twenty-something. I’m twice the woman that I was, gained a few wrinkles, and my hair turned completely white in my thirties. I hope that there is a nice guy who likes me and has integrity, intelligence, and a sense of humor. He need to be absolutely single and a nonsmoker. Politically socially liberal and tolerant of others. Somebody who will love me for my flaws. Perfection is an illusion.

Okcupid would be much improved if I could restrict messages from out of the geographical area; I only want to date local men. They should never refer to any woman as a girl, its derogatory. Some of the ads are annoying, especially concerning weight control and the site keeps trying to add cookies to my computer. If these issues persist, I may just sign off.

Cupid, shoot that arrow.
© 2013 Ima B. Musing

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