Thursday, January 31, 2013


The only thing that is constant is change. Alterations commence at conception when egg and sperm merge. Life instigates with the combination and then division of one cell into millions of cells. The DNA stipulate how the cells organize into whatever the creature may be, flora, fauna, or animal ranging from a tiny amoeba to a huge blue whale. Too much or too little cell growth will cause death. The cycle continues when our cells break down to feed other beings and thus we persist in a different form.

I believe in the Infinite Soul. Is the Infinite Soul a senescent and separate being? No. I don’t believe in a singular or plural Creator of any gender. Neither an atheist nor an agnostic, I consider myself to be an Animist. Everything is connected to the Infinite Soul, which includes all atoms, that encompasses our planet, universe and to the great unknown. The link doesn’t hinge upon a narrow definition of life.

Humans remain connected to the Infinite Soul, though we are able to operate as an individual animal. As a semi-separate entity, we are personally responsible for our choices. It is easier to be a negative pessimist. Violence is used by the weak. People with a feeble soul act out aggressively to bully, lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, micromanage, rape, murder, et cetera. They seek to control because they fear being controlled. They impose unrealistic perfection upon others, feel superior, and hide their vulnerabilities. They don’t want to be shamed by their own flaws. They don’t feel guilt for doing negative things to others. What a sad, sad existence.

There are too many examples of megalomania and it’s tragic that this behavior still exists today. We need to evolve beyond that behavior if we are to survive. It is a harder journey to seek the positive. I strive to embrace my vulnerability and shame. I am flawed: Therefore I am. I am a mixture of positive and negative traits. 1 + 1 = 3 my flawed parts make a larger whole. I must surrender to the intertwined complicated partnership and see the holy in the praxis of myself.

Compassionate acceptance of myself is excruciatingly difficult. It’s less demanding to permit the imperfections of others than tolerate those traits in my own being. I think that it would be easier if I felt romantically loved and desired by someone. I am a complete being but it would be nice to know that someone else wants to be with me. That another human accepts the Ima-potpourri and wants to ease the pains of my wounds and I wish to do the same for them. Together we help each other be stronger and live optimistically. Not blind to the challenges but grasping hands and walking through the trials and tribulations together.

Cock-eyed optimist, no, quixotic, just a wee bit, but I seek to live Whole Heartedly. I viewed a couple TED talks featuring Brene Brown. She is funny and insightful. I need to read her books. I’m glad that she admitted that it’s a difficult journey to engaging your entire being. Its much less effort to shield oneself or fall into negativity. It is hard to be kind to myself. I have to reject the internalized criticisms heaped upon me by my family and myself. It is excruciatingly difficult to even write down these thoughts. The adage, name it to tame it, comes to mind. I have to name this process and delve in to eject the bad and grow the good. I’ll save that for another posting…

Be Kind to Yourself.
© 2013 Ima B. Musing

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