Monday, March 21, 2011


Saturday, March 19th
Attended another Al-Anon meeting. Thankfully, Mitch has maintained his sobriety but I worry about one of my sisters. I am certain that she is addicted to alcohol and other drugs as a way to self-medicate her mental health issues (bi-polar). I am torn between caring and not giving a crap but realizing that with my family that when I care, they hurt me. I just can’t handle hurt right now. Al-Anon helps me to stay centered. The only person that I can control is myself.

Went to the library and checked out four books. Once I start a book I like to read it through to the end, with a few breaks. It helps me to keep track of the characters. The only problems with library books are some patrons who do not cherish the book and either write in it or cause another type of damage. My friend Ruby who lives in Cincinnati has had to worry about bedbugs in books, ewww.

Went out with friends to listen to music. The band played polka and rock-n-roll music. I prefer polka and danced a few times. I remember attending many wedding dances featuring a polka band and listening to polka groups at the county fair. As a teenager, our 4-H club would hire a polka band for a yearly party over the objection of the modern music kids. Interestingly enough, the kids who objected the most seemed to have the most fun.

Sunday, March 20th
Cleaned the house a bit. Checked the cat’s food, water and cleared out their litter boxes, one for each feline. Tillie enjoys playing with the food so it’s always scattered around the floor of the unfinished basement. I filled the bowl and she promptly rolled over it. Exasperating. Perhaps she will grow out of this annoying habit but probably not. Read the newspaper in-between organizing the kitchen and general cleaning. Yes, I still enjoy the visceral feel of newsprint though I am saddened that the quality and quantity of reporting for the Star Tribune has steadily declined. The Pioneer Press isn’t much better.

Watched an episode of Secret Millionaire on ABC. Nice to profile people striving to help others. It seems a bit contrived, though. The man featured last night told his family that they should stay in cheap hotels and volunteer. His wife didn’t like the hotel idea and the kids did not want to give up their time. Thus far, the people of wealth are all white and help primarily people of color in inner-cities. How stereotypical! There are lots of people of diversity who are self-made “millionaires” and poverty is neither contained to genetic background nor geographic location.

I grew up poor in a small rural community. I have a multicultural background but most people assume that I am entirely Caucasian. Even though we did not have much stuff, my parents always welcomed and fed visitors, we donated stuff, and we were expected to volunteer. This started right away. If you want your kids to be caring adults, you have to teach them to care as small children. I doubt if the Secret Millionaire man’s kids, especially his son, will ever volunteer. They will join the self-absorbed throngs of people who are foolish enough to think that they deserve everything their way and have no connection to the poor kid dying of malaria elsewhere. Fools.

Monday, March 21st
Happy first full day of spring! Met a friend at a coffee shop. She drank coffee and I had tea. Good to get out of the house and chat. I love the smell and flavor of coffee but hate the bitter aftertaste. Bitter is the flavor that I most dislike. Cloudy and chilly outside due to the fog overnight. Difficult to warm myself today. Right now I am under a heating blanket with another blanket on top to stay warm. I let the house cool down to 50 during the daytime and it feels cold today. Someday I’ll have a job and keep the house at 56.

Seeking Sunshine.
© 2011

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