Sunday, May 12, 2013


Minnesota is poised to expand Marriage Equity in the USA! The Minnesota House of Representatives comfortably passed a bill to extend civil marriage rights to same-sex couples on Thursday, May 9th, 2013. I was at work and my boss was nice enough to permit me to listen to the debate. I was moved to tears many times. I was utterly thrilled when it was officially passed with a margin of 16 votes, 75 to 59, with the assistance of four courageous Republicans who dared to defy their leaders. The Minnesota Senate should easily pass the bill and Governor Dayton will sign the bill into law which will be take affect August 1st (pending the dismissal of all silly litigation). Hip-hip-hooray!!

UPDATE: Minnesota Senate passed the bill 37 to 30 on Monday, May 13th, 2013. Governor Dayton will sign on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013. What utter joy!!!

Love will be the law in Minnesota commencing on August 1, 2013 barring litigation. I am certain that lawsuits to block the bill will be filed immediately but hopefully the bill was written in a way to circumvent disruption. I am proud to be Minnesotan again and look forward to attending a multitude of weddings since I have a lot of Lesbian and Gay friends. It was profoundly hurtful when the State Legislature passed a bill outlawing same-sex marriage and I was fearful that the constitutional amendment to bar same-sex marriage would pass in 2012. My fellow Minnesotans audaciously voted No to the amendment and now we honor love by making it the law. Yahoo!! This is a personal issue for me.

He was taught it was evil and unnatural. It was dangerous to explore in rural Minnesota. He believes that that God condemns it. More than seven decades of self-loathing, over fifty years of marriage, and numerous prodigy did not heal him. Prayer only brought more pain. He hates the fact that his soul desires the companionship of another man. He has had numerous affairs with men and continues to view online pornography. He is my father.

I kinda realized that my dear old dad was at least bi-sexual in grade school. He had issues of Playgirl tucked away in the basement. Though I thought it was strange, he couldn’t be gay if he was married, right? I was naive and decided that someone must have sent him the magazines as a joke. During high school he and my mom had a huge fight about his ongoing affairs. He said it didn’t count since no children could be born, again, I didn’t comprehend the insinuation.

Once I entered college, my best friend came out to me as gay. He was concerned that I would reject him because of my conservative faith. I had already separated myself from organized religion and we remained friends. We became closer because he could be completely honest with me. However, he gently pointed out to me that my dad was probably gay. HIV/AIDS was a new diagnosis and it frightened me. I gathered up prevention brochures and discreetly placed them in my dad’s office. I didn’t want him to contract the disease and give it to my mom. He never acknowledged their presence.

During the ensuing years, my dad has developed a fascination with my gay friends. He constantly asks how the couples are doing. My heart breaks for him. He hasn’t been able to be truthful about his sexuality and has suffered greatly. I think that he loved my mom but that faded long ago. Decades of misery together. They should have divorced and each located a good man for companionship.

I’ve made it clear to my father that homosexuality is a gift from the Creator (however the deity is defined, if it exists at all). He has never discussed his sexuality with me. I just wonder what would have happened if he could have been candid from the beginning. I know that I would not of been born but at least he and my mother would have had a better chance of being happy separately. He is now taking care of her since her dementia is getting worse every day. I hope but fear that he will never open himself to honest love after my mom dies. My dad deserves to love himself and be loved by a terrific man.

P.S. This is not “outing” my father, even if you read all my blogs you would not know the community where my family resides. If I were writing under my real name I would never discuss this topic openly, I would not risk causing him more discomfort. (Note: Segments of this column were originally published on October 13th, 2013.)

P.S.S. Thank you to the Suburbs, Chan Poling for permitting the marriage equity campaign to use their song “Love is the Law.” Granted, the verses are repetitive but it works well for a political initiative.

Love Rules!
© Copyright 2013 Ima B. Musing: all rights reserved.

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