Thursday, November 17, 2011


It has been one of those years, lots of stuff not working. I strive to focus on the positive and seek the good side of every situation but my patience is wearing thin. The proverbial straw that broke this camel’s back is the furnace. It has ceased heating the water boiler. In a cold climate that is very bad news. If this were the bowel of winter, like the end of January and early February, it could be deadly.

Thankfully, it is only the chilly beginning of the season. The house was 48 degrees Fahrenheit when I woke up this morning. The sunshine is warming the first floor fairly well but its only about 50 degrees on the second floor where my office is located. I am wearing several layers of clothes along with a hat and scarf and I am still shivering. I wrapped a heating blanket around me and that at least keeps my torso warm. The poor cats are puffed up to retain heat. At least they won’t be shedding until the heater is repaired.

I qualify for the Energy Assistance Program due to my low income so I called for help. The nice Repair Coordinator sent out a contractor who looked at the boiler and was not optimistic. I phoned the coordinator and he said that another contractor would contact me for a second opinion and drop off space heaters. If that opinion coincides that the 56 year old furnace is dead then it will have to be replaced. The basic model of 83% efficiency is about $4,000 and I don’t know how much of that I will have to pay. I don’t want to completely drain my savings account. I was planning to purchase the 97% efficiency model next year for $6,000 but it all depends upon my employment situation.

I’ll do whatever they recommend and my dear friend Allie said that I could borrow money from her if needed. I hesitate because money usually messes up relationships. It is better to seek a loan from a bank than pay the heavy price of destroying a relationship. I doubt if I would qualify for a loan right now. I dare not borrow from my parents because the siblings would get in a snit, though two of them never repaid our parents for their personal loans.

Just to add to my glee the car battery is hesitating so it needs to be replaced for about $150, Tillie is showing signs of being in heat again (she needs to get spayed), I can barely see with my glasses (I need a new prescription), and my monthly menses cycle has begun. I’m cold, tired, and feeling a bit crabby. I have some yard work to complete before snow falls but not in the mood today. Dang cold outside too.

I need to conserve my physical and mental energy for an interview tomorrow. The job would be great since I have an interest in the work and I like the supervisor. However, its only 80% time (30 hours per week). I’d have to find another part-part time job and is located about 20 miles from my home. Commuting during bad weather would suck big time. I am getting desperate so I’ll take any job right now. The urge to scream, “Hire me,” is palatable. I have been seeking employment since July 2010. I have sent out nearly 350 applications and gone on fourteen interviews. It’s an unrewarding chore to search and not procure employment. At times I feel hopeless and afraid. Will I lose my home? What happens if I get injured or ill? What is wrong with me? Why won’t anyone hire me??? ARGH! Sorry, I just needed to vent today.

Seeking warmth.
© 2011 Ima B. Musing

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