Saturday, January 25, 2014


Received a disturbing call from my old friend, Tony. He and I were good friends in high school but he became increasingly negative during college so I didn’t seek him out. We became reacquainted a couple years ago after he moved back to our hometown to help take care of his ailing father. His dad died and he lived with his mom. I would sometimes see them when I was visiting my parents. His mom died about a year and a half ago. She was a really nice person and they were very close.

Unbeknownst to me, Tony had been struggling with alcoholism for several years. He is angry and destructive when drunk. After his mom’s death he went back into rehab and did well for over a year. He then decided to move to Nevada, unfortunately, it did not bode well. Someone stole his license, a lot of his stuff, and money. He was too intoxicated to know who did it so can’t file charges. Got drunk and trashed a hotel room. Plus, has blown through all his inheritance money.

A couple weeks ago called me while drunk and sobbing about his mom, which made me cry about my mom. Tony is an atheist and distains the Alcoholics Anonymous’ 12 Step Program. I encouraged him to call his counselors in Minnesota and ask for a reference for a therapist in Nevada. He hasn’t been in that state long enough to be considered a resident, especially since he still owns property in MN. I know that rehab is expensive so he may end up losing his parent’s house, too.

Another complication is that Tony likes to smoke a lot of marijuana. He says it is medicinal due to being HIV-Positive but I think there is a psychological element, too. He got into heavier use when he was sober. Tony hasn’t developed full-blown AIDS because the drug cocktail is keeping it at bay, however, I don’t know how he can pay for it. He hasn’t held a job since moving from Iowa eight years ago.

Tony’s niece is currently renting his house but her family is fraught with dysfunction. I don’t think that she can be very supportive of him. I care about Tony, I want him to be happy and healthy but I cannot take on his burden at this time. I am too fragile with grief for my mom and fear for the cat. I can only offer encouragement. Thankfully, he found a free detox program in Las Vegas and is in the process of sobering up. He called to let me know that he was feeling better and was going to seek out a support group. I can hope for the best but I still fear for his welfare.

Pray for Tony.
Copyright © 2014 by Ima B. Musing; All rights reserved

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