Sunday, March 17, 2013


My premiere accident occurred only a few weeks after I purchased my first auto. It had taken me a couple years to save enough money to partially finance a used vehicle and procure a loan. I was so happy for the independence after riding the bus and relying upon lifts from friends. I’d had my license since the age of sixteen but didn’t buy a car for over a decade. I was so happy to locate a nice used car. The stoplight had turned amber and I was seeking to clear the intersection when the other driver decided to zoom ahead. The right front corner of my car was smashed. It took a lot of time to physically and emotionally heal from the trauma. I know that I was partially to blame for making the turn.

My second accident happened a couple years later on the highway. The car behind me hit an icy patch and crashed into my wee Toyota Tercel. The back end of my car was crumpled. I was thrown against the door and knocked out. I had incredible pain after that mishap. The car should have been totaled because it never healed properly. I really should have sued due to my injuries.

About eight years ago I was rear ended by an inattentive driver on the highway. He was in his 20s and his mother called me and left a threatening message. She stated that her brother was an insurance inspector and would check me out for fraud. I really should have reported her and sued but I didn’t. My Dodge Spirit wasn’t hurt badly but I had a mild case of whiplash.

Auto accidents are a physical and emotional pain and logistical nightmare. I am already busy and now I have to deal with phone calls, medical appointments, and paperwork. I know that I am not at fault for being rear-ended but I still have to coordinate the logistics. My anxiety has increased significantly and I practice relaxation techniques to drive during inclimate weather. I’d prefer to travel by bus to work but it’s close to two-hours travel time each direction and that probably isn’t good for my back either.

After the accident I shuffled over to my neighbor’s houses. We usually take turns clearing a path on each other’s sidewalks for the myriad walkers in the neighborhood. I informed them of the auto accident and asked if they would be so kind as to shovel for me until I felt better. They were benevolent to oblige. I will find a way to repay them in-kind. I don’t have money to hire a neighbor kid to shovel for me.

It isn’t about pride; it’s concerning self-sufficiency. I ought to be able to take care of myself and help others. I have a responsibility to assist and its uncomfortable to receive. I already have to use the food shelf and heat-share due to being poor. I keep seeking a full-time job. Numerous interviews and no employment offer. I have cut out all but bare bones necessity expenses. My savings are dwindling and I will be in mortgage default soon. Adding another stress is unsustainable. I want to scream and cry, “Why?” What the heck have I done to be thrown into this pit? This camel’s back is hurt and nearly broken.

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Poor pitiful me.
© 2013 Ima B. Musing

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