First, dealing with the aftermath of a car accident is a pain in myriad ways. Coordinating the healing my body and auto is stressful. Insurance adjustors and paperwork is endless. The insurance company wants to pry ten years into my past, which is rude and unnecessary. I feel vulnerable every time that I see the doctor. Exhausted and the physical pain ebbs and flows.
Second, Zozo my eldest cat has become ill. She is a very sweet seven-year-old feline who purrs when I walk into the room. My heart would break if she would suffer or die. She began to hack a lot in the fall. I thought it was due to hairballs so I switched to Science Diet Elder Adult Anti-Hairball food. The vomiting stopped but she still seemed to cough a lot. She started sneezing in February and now it has developed into a respiratory problem. Thankfully, I located a coupon and took her to the veterinarian. After poking and prodding, the vet determined that she probably had an upper respiratory infection.
A better diagnosis could be made with an expensive blood test or an even more expensive procedure which would involve anesthetizing her to take a sample of the inside of her sinuses. Instead, I opted for a prescription of Clavamox (amoxicillian trihydrate/ calavulanate potassium) 62.5mg tabs twice per day. The problem with Zozo is that she is a smart cat and she hates pills. She knows the sound of my opening the prescription and resists consuming the pill. I have to capture her and force the pill into her mouth, unpleasant for both of us. The vet also wants her to take 250mg of L-Lysine twice per day. I purchased the pills from the pharmacy and must crush them for her to consume. I have mixed them with butter and hummus but she has rejected both. I must figure out another method of convincing her to take the medicine.
NOTE: There is a strong need for a low-cost veterinarian in the East Metro of the Twin Cities, MN. A sliding fee clinic exists in Hopkins but it isn’t worth the cost of fuel to drive all the way there and have a cat cry the entire distance. The stress isn’t good for either of us.
Third, my broke down 100-year-old home has plumbing issues. The upstairs bathroom sink became plugged and Draino didn’t resolve the blockage. I unwound the trap and the entire pipe-works fell apart. I called the handy-person who had installed the pipes for me two years ago when the original pipes rusted. Greg is a nice person but really needs a shave, haircut, belt, and longer shirt because he does fulfill the bad stereotype of a grungy repair-person. Greg used a pipe snake to twist out the plug and then reinstalled the pipes.
Unfortunately, the obstruction just seems to have been moved further down the line. I washed clothes and the water backed up. Thankfully, it was clean water but now I have to call Greg back to snake the sewer line in the basement to try to clear out the impasse. The seal on the basement toilet leaked so I need a new wax ring installed. Plus, the first floor shower needs to be repaired and the upstairs bathroom needs a new faucet because the cold water dial is rusted shut. Actually, the upstairs bathroom requires an entire remodel and have a shower installed.
Fourth, the washing machine and dryer are near death. It irritates me because the washer has ceased agitating the clothes. I have to presoak everything and swish them in the big sink before transferring them into the washer to be spun. The spin cycle isn’t functioning very well and the dryer doesn’t produce much heat. I need a new washer and dryer. I’d love to install an on-demand water heater, too.
Fifth, the oven is dispelling carbon monoxide when I bake. I have to turn on the overhead fan to suck out the fumes because I know that they are dangerous to inhale. I fear baking anything.
Finally, I have cavities. The dentist said that it is probably due to the hormonal changes with the beginning of menopause. I will have to sell something to pay for the fillings. I can't delay because the cavities will only grow and become more expensive.
Normally, all these issues would be a minor irritant but all of them occurring at the same time is overwhelming me with mental anguish. I broke down and sobbed today, which is not normal. I feel alone, afraid and weak. My family isn’t supportive and I don’t have any “best” friends to burden with my sorrow. I strive to be self-sufficient. My financial resources have continued to dwindle since my full-time job was cut to part-time during the summer of 2009. I have endured unemployment and underemployment ever since that time. I am working part-time now and despite completing hundreds of applications and participating in numerous interviews I can’t get hired. I stopped counting the applications and interviews a while ago because it was only adding to my anxiety.
A full-time job with benefits would solve most of my challenges. I could afford to get stuff fixed and would handle the stress healing the whiplash and cat more easily. I will give my job search until the end of the month and then I will just have to pick up a couple more part-time jobs to pay the bills. Part-time jobs pay less per hour than a full-time job so I will probably end up working 60+ hours per week. I won’t have time to write very much. I find writing to be very therapeutic. It helps me to express my inner feelings since I can’t afford to visit with a mental health professional.
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Suffered enough already.
© 2013 Ima B. Musing